Managing self, Interactions and Achieving Results

1 Self in Interaction with Others

Managers often fall into the trap of becoming more conscious of themselves and therefore do not pay enough attention to their interactions with others and the environment in which they perform their tasks. Therefore, for managers to become successful the first step is to accept that they have to get results and in doing so they have to work with others. More importantly, that they differ in terms of their views of the organisation, jobs, how they should be organised and managed from other with whom they work. These differences are due to factors such as different background, physical shape and size, experiences, perceptions, education and many other cultural influences.

Psychologists believe that there are two basic differences between people. These are personality and perception. The debate on personality has been going on for a number of years. The most helpful view is that which is cited in the Encyclopaedia of Psychology (Vol 2, 1975).

Personality is the relative  stable organisation of a persons motivational dispositions, arising from the interactions between biological drives and the social and physical environment. The term usually refers chiefly to the affective cognitive traits, sentiments, attitudes, complexes and unconscious mechanisms, interests and ideas, which determines mans characteristic or distinctive behaviour and thought.

As shown above, it is suggested that there are a number of influences which determine who we are and these either emerge from inherited factors or are previously obtained through learning processes, from our interactions with our environment. Analoui (1993) provides a practical view and suggests that, personality inevitably has been formed and will be continually developed under the influences of both sets of factors identified above. What is important is not so much how the personality is formed but rather, the resultant frames of references; the values. Beliefs and thoughts which form the foundation for managers to deal with issues in the real world. It is the frames of references which provides the basis for our perception of ourselves and others and which determines the quality of our relationship with others and the environment

Personality and Learning in Organisations

Summary of phrases which characterise psychoanalytic and humanistic schools of thought about personality

Interpersonal Awareness

Johari Window

A framework was developed by two American psychologists, Henry lngham and Joe Luft. This approach to management training helps people to understand the development of differences between their 'self perception and others' perception of them'.

Adapted form Luft, J. And Ingham, H. (1955), The Johari Window; A Graphic Model of Interpersonal Awareness, Proceedings of the Western Training laboratory in Group Development (Los Angeles: UCLA Extension Office).

In a social interaction we are aware or unaware of certain facets of our own and others personalities at the same time.

1. The Open Area

Facets of ourselves, our attitudes, behaviour and personality which are known to us and are also apparent to others.

The Blind Area

There are aspects of ourselves that are apparent to others of which we are unaware.

3. The Hidden Area

Some attitudes, feelings, values and beliefs which are private and therefore we do not wish to disclose them to others

4. The Unknown Area

There are aspects of ourselves of which we are unaware and which are also not apparent to others, but they do influence our behaviour; unless we make determined efforts to increase our self knowledge, we are unlikely to understand some of our actions and reactions.

Only be self disclosure and feedback from others can the discrepancies between self perception and perception of self by others be reduced. This process also helps us to understand the expectations we have of others in their relationships to us.

First Social Interactions

Self-disclosure effect

Feedback effect

Self-disclosure and feedback effects

As managers we ought to attempt to integrate the individual aspects of our life with the organisational realities in order to reach a balanced state. Individual development should consist of awareness and knowledge of your needs, your partners needs and requirements, your career and your plans for the future.

It is equally important to consider issues which are related to your job, your employees, their job and their plans for their career development.

Exercise

Take a piece of paper and answer the questions raised in diagrams (A) and (B). Consider your answers carefully. Can you prepare a life plan? How can these activities be integrated with one another?

Action lever:

Assessing Yourself and Goal

Setting for Personal Development

Alternatives

Getting things done as they appear

Setting priorities, areas and concentrating on them.

Three Broad Stages:

Diagnosis

Goal Setting

Planning for on going evaluation

Diagnosis Diagnosis Diagnosis etc.

Evaluation Goal Evaluation Goal Evaluation Goal

setting setting setting

Action Action Action

Assertiveness

What is Assertiveness?

It is being clear about our own position, communicating this to others, and accepting their positions. Essentially it involves taking responsibility for our own feelings and beliefs and not attempting to justify them.

Assertiveness is about creating a balance between avoiding being submissive and not being aggressive towards others

There are a number of ways we attempt to influence others. For example,

logic

guilt

threat

reward

vision, and assertiveness

Assertiveness is at the very least an honest statement of your beliefs.

1. Why are we not assertive?

We would not be liked

We would not get on

We might be wrong

We might be made to look foolish

Lack of commitment

When are we assertive?

When we are deeply committed

When we make our position clear

When we persist without being stubborn

When we say 'no' when we mean 'no' and not 'perhaps

Assertiveness Skills

Some techniques are illustrated below. Those of most use will be 'self-expression' and 'acceptance of criticism'. The skills are most valuable where they have been learned to the extent that you can use them without feeling uncomfortable.

Self-expression (Broken Record)

Purpose: A skill that by calm repetition - saying what you want over and over again - teaches persistence without your having to rehearse arguments or angry feelings beforehand, in order to be 'up' while dealing with others. Allows you to feel comfortable in ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting, irrelevant logic, while sticking to your point.

Acceptance of Criticism (Fogging)

Purpose: A skill that teaches acceptance of manipulative criticism by calmly acknowledging to your critic the possibility that there may be some truth in what he says, yet allows you to remain your own judge of what you do. Allows you to receive criticism comfortably without becoming anxious or defensive, while giving no reward to those using manipulative criticism.

Negative Assertion

Purpose: A skill that teaches acceptance of your errors and faults (without having to apologise) by strongly and sympathetically agreeing with hostile or constructive criticism of your negative qualities.

Allows you to look more comfortably at negatives in your own behaviour or personality without feeling defensive and anxious, or resorting to denial of real errors, while at the same time reducing your critic's anger or hostility. Note the non-verbal components of Negative Assertion. The tone of voice is neither apologetic nor hostile. You are asserting your error, not simply admitting it.

Negative Assertion is similar to fogging, but differs in that:

a)        You actually made the error or possess the fault (rather than a possibility that it happened).

b)        You agree with your critic's value system that your act was negative.

Negative Inquiry

Purpose: A skill that teaches the acting prompting of criticism in order to use the information (if helpful) or exhaust it (if manipulative) while prompting your critic to be more assertive and less dependent on manipulative ploys. Allows you more comfortably to seek out criticism about yourself in close relationships while prompting the other person to express honest negative feelings and improve communication.

Notes:

a) Turn the spotlight on yourself, not on your critic. 'What is it about me that is wrong'. If you focus on your critic, you will most likely get a defensive reaction that will not facilitate communication.

b) Actively invite the criticism, both verbally and non-verbally. You will elicit feelings from your critic more effectively if you convey the message, 'I am eager to hear this valuable information. I want to know more'.

c) Specify the criticism. Listen closely to the words and help the critic focus on exactly what is wrong.

'You say I am dressed untidily. What is it about the way l am dressed that is untidy'?

'Well, your shoes, for one thing'

'What is it about my shoes that is untidy'?

'Well, just look at them. You have not cleaned them in a month'

'Then it is my shoes not being cleaned that makes me look untidy'

'Yes - that is one thing'

d) Exhaust the criticism

'Is there anything else about my shoes that is wrong'? Or 'Is there anything besides my shoes that makes me look untidy'? Or 'There must be more things about me that are wrong than just my clothing'? Or 'Are you sure there is nothing else that is wrong with me'?

e) Analyse the criticism. 'What is it about that is wrong'?

f) Listen for the 'I' statement. Remember that criticism comes from other people's value systems. They are often unaware that their subjective value systems are operating, but behind every piece of criticism is a statement, 'I do not like it'. Negative inquiry is especially helpful in breaking through feelings. Only then can you make agreements, compromises or conclusions that have a solid basis.

g) Specify what the critic wants. You might make unwarranted assumptions if you do not do this.

'It sounds like you want me to clear things with you before I submit an 'Improvement Needed' evaluation'.

'Yes well, no. Go ahead and make the decision. Just be sure to let me know as soon as possible. It is when I do not know that you have done it that I have problems'.

Free Information

Free information is any information - besides a 'yes' or 'no' answer-that a person gives you about him/herself. It may or may not have anything to do with the question you asked. Listen to the words and comment on them.

If you ask questions that begin with What, When or How, the reply will usually furnish you with more Free Information than questions that can be answered 'yes' or 'no'. E.g., 'What are some things you like most about your work'? will give you more Free Information than 'Do you like your work'?

Self-Disclosure

Purpose: A skill that teaches the acceptance and initiation of discussion of both the positive and negative aspects of your personality, behaviour, lifestyle and intelligence to enhance social communication and reduce manipulation. It allows you comfortably to disclose aspects of yourself and you life that previously caused feelings of ignorance, anxiety, or quilt.

Self-disclosure are 'I' statements. They describe feelings going on inside us at the moment. We take full responsibility for these feelings and do not blame the others for them. Thus, 'You are making me very angry' is not a self-disclosure, but 'I am getting very angry with you' is.

Exercise: Asserting yourself

Learning areas : Social  Skills : Emotional resilience: Proactivity

Activity

In the following questionnaire, you will find 10 sets of three statements, like this:

I'm a person who

The scoring is based on the notion that we all behave in each of these ways from time to time, although the extent to which we have a tendency for (a), (b) or (c) will vary.

You are therefore asked to allocate points to each of (a), (b), and (c), such that the total adds up to 10. Thus, if you think that you quite often have your rights violated, and quite often protect the rights of others, but rarely violate the rights of others, you might score yourself as a person who:

On the other hand, if you recognise that you protect your own rights at all costs, even if this quite often involves violating the rights of others, then your score might be that you are a person who:

Note: This exercise is adapted from Dr. Margarison a professor of Management Development at the MCB University, U.K.

This questionnaire is based on a model that suggests that ASSERTION is the 'happy medium' between two equally undesirable extremes - passivity and aggression. To see where you are; add up all your (a) scores (passivity), (b) scores (ASSERTION), and (c) scores (aggression), and enter them in the diagram below.

I'm a person who;

This questionnaire is based on a model that suggests that ASSERTION is the 'happy medium' between two equally undesirable extremes - passivity and aggression. To see where you are; add up all your (a) scores (passivity), (b) scores (ASSERTION), and (c) scores (aggression), and enter them in the diagram below.

This way of looking at assertion is very important. While it is easy to distinguish it from the left extreme of passivity, it is quite often mistaken and confused with the right extreme of aggression. In fact, though, as the questionnaire statements show, they are very different.

Learning to be assertive requires a lot of practice. You have taken an important step by getting an idea of your passive/assertive/aggressive profile. (Incidentally, why not get others to fill it out for you - to give you their picture of where your are?) The (b) behaviours give you an idea of what to aim for if you want to become more assertive; these can become the basis of your intentions for actions. Perhaps you can keep a diary of how assertive you have been from time to time; do certain situations or people tend to push you into passivity or aggression? What is there about these? What can you do about them?

Incidentally, this 'happy medium' way of looking at things can be applied to all sorts of aspects of yourself. For example, are you lazy and slothful? Or a narrow-minded workaholic, burning yourself out? Or purposefully committed, balancing work and leisure

Or again

No doubt you can think of some of these 'syntheses' as Roberto Assagioli calls them whereby opposite negative qualities are transformed into positive ones.

Achieving results

It can be said that there are three types of managers: those who make things happen, those who watch things happening, and those who don't know what is happening. Achieving results, getting things done, making things happen. That is what management is all about. Before finding out how to get into the first category, there are three questions to answer:

Is getting things done simply a matter of personality - characteristics like drive, decisiveness, leadership, ambition - which some people have and others haven't?

And if you haven't got the drive, decisiveness and so forth which it takes, is there anything you can do about it?

To what extent is an ability to make things happen a matter of using techniques which can be learnt and developed?

Personality is important. Unless you have willpower and drive nothing will get done. But remember that your personality is a function of both nature and nurture.

We may not be able to change our personality but we can develop and adapt it by consciously learning from our own experience and by observing and analysing other people's behaviour.

Techniques for achieving results, such as planning, organizing, delegating, communicating, motivating and controlling, can be learnt. These are dealt with later in this book. But these techniques ace only as effective as the person who uses them. They must be applied in the right way and in the right circumstances. And you still have to use your experience to select the right technique and your personality to make it work.

To become a person who makes things happen you therefore have to develop skills and capacities by a process of understanding, observation, analysis and learning. The four actions you should take are:

Understand what makes achievers tick - the personality characteristics they display in getting things done.

Observe what achievers do - how they operate, what techniques they use.

Analyse your own behaviour (behaviour, not personality), compare it with that of high achievers, and think how to improve your effectiveness.

Learn as much as you can about the management techniques available.

What makes achievers tick?

David McClelland (34) of Harvard University carried out extensive research into what motivates managers. He interviewed, observed and analysed numbers of managers at their place of work and recorded findings before producing his theory. And before you dismiss anything which comes under the heading of theory, remember what Douglas McGregor (36) of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said: There is nothing so practical as a good theory

Professor McClelland identified three needs which he believes are key factors motivating managers. These are:

The need for achievement

The need for power (having control and influence over people)

The need for affiliation (to be accepted by others).

All effective managers have these needs to a certain degree, but by far the most important one is achievement.

Achievement is what counts and achievers, according to McClelland, have these characteristics:

They set themselves realistic but achievable goals with some `stretch' built in.

They prefer situations, which they themselves can influence rather than those on which chance has a large influence.

They are more concerned with knowing they have done well than with the rewards that success brings.

They get their rewards from their accomplishment rather than from money or praise. This does not mean that high achievers reject money, which does in fact motivate them as long as it is seen as a realistic measure of their performance.

High achievers are most effective in situations where they are allowed to get ahead by their own efforts.

What do achievers do?

High achievers do some, if not all, of these things:

They define to themselves precisely what they want to do.

They set demanding but not unattainable time-scales in which to do it.

They convey clearly what they want done and by when.

They are prepared to discuss how things should be done and will listen to and take advice. But once the course of action has been agreed they stick to it unless events dictate a change of direction.

They are single-minded about getting where they want to go, showing perseverance and determination in the face of adversity.

They demand high performance from themselves and are somewhat callous in expecting equally high performance from everyone else.

They work hard and work well under pressure; in fact, it brings out the best in them.

They tend to be dissatisfied with the status quo.

They are never completely satisfied with their own performance and continually question themselves.

They will take calculated risks.

They snap out of setbacks without being personally shattered and quickly regroup their forces and their ideas.

They are enthusiastic about the task and convey their enthusiasm to others.

They are decisive in the sense that they are able quickly to sum up situations, define alternative courses of action, determine the preferred course, and convey to their subordinates what needs to be done.

They continually monitor their own and their subordinates' performance so that any deviation can be corrected in good time.

How to analyse your own behaviour

It is no good trying to analyse your own behaviour unless you have criteria against which you can measure your performance. You have to set standards for yourself, and if you don't meet them, ask yourself why. The answer should tell you what to do next time.

The basic questions you should ask yourself are:

What did I set out to do?

Did I get it done?

If I did, why and how did I succeed?

If not, why not?

The aim is to make effective use of your experience.

Use the list of things that high achievers do to check your own behaviour and actions. If your performance has not been up to scratch under any of these headings, ask yourself specifically what went wrong and decide how you are going to overcome this difficulty next time. This is not always easy. It is hard to admit to yourself, for example, that you have not been sufficiently enthusiastic. It may be even harder to decide what to do about it. You don't want to enthuse all over the place, indiscriminately. But you can consider whether there are better ways of displaying and conveying your enthusiasm to others in order to carry them with you.

Negotiation

Negotiation is considered the art of creating agreement instead of potential disagreement. Any formal or informal discussion and any interaction with someone in which we want to get an agreement on your point is a negotiation. Take for instance some simple example:

a man wants to get a more important job;

a woman wants to open her own business;

a salesman wants to sell his product;

an employee wants a raise etc.

Considering the image below, A may want as much as possible from C, while B wants as much as possible from the same C.

Negotiation means to find the way to get the most satisfactory result for both A and B. Usually each of the two parties may want to win less important may be whether the other party may lose or win.

Potential result of a negotiation could therefore be:

A win / lose situation or

A win / win situation.

Most of the negotiators are seeking for a win / lose situation as being safer - while in fact only their win should be important for them and very rare should they be particularly interested in the others party loss.

Specialists recommend that the win / win approach is the most appropriate in all situations and has the important benefit of either create or maintain a long-term relation.

How many chances may be to get the desired agreement? Lets look at the following two situations, where figures may represent prices, or salary levels.:

As you may see only the second situation may lead to an agreement. Apart from such pre-set situations, a thorough preparation before negotiation is helpful in getting the desired agreement and getting a relation as well.

Some important elements of negotiation should be considered:

In preparing for negotiation you should consider the relation you may have with your partner. That person may be an extrovert one, who usually prefers sorting things out in contact with other people, while an introvert might be more inclined to analyse problems alone, drawing on his own resources.

Elaborate a strategy based on a thorough preparation and think at:

The arguments you have;

What do you think are others arguments - spy the other part;

Collect available information;

Allocated roles for each negotiator;

Plan the strategy - what techniques are you going to use;

Remember that techniques are the same for different tactics and priorities.

Very important is to have a clear objective for the negotiation: To be clear what you want !

As part of your preparation some other technical issues should be considered as well. For instance you should assess in advance what are your strengths in the discussion and what are your partners strengths who seems therefore to have the power.

Try to be realistic in your demands and expectations when setting the maximum/minimum, the target and the offer. Try to predict as well how many bargains will be and how many you can afford. Previous agreements with others (in the same activity or elsewhere) may give you an idea.

Considering a formal negotiation process, there may be identified three stages and some points to be considered for each of them:

The opening session - you should start by being realistic, present your point but also explore the others point. Ask questions, listen and very important is to show that you are listening and understanding your partners point. If you show understanding you can be better understood - and this is the start of the relation. Check as frequent as possible if the others understand you as well. Try to face difficulties but do not jeopardise or destroy the relation.

Do not show to be too interested and do not make any initial concessions.

Bargaining session try to reduce the difference between demand and offer, leading the discussion towards an agreement. Make conditional proposals to help the bargaining but do not give up anything without asking something in exchange. Sometime is better to negotiate a whole package of conditions. Control your emotions. Please consider that you are negotiating with people not with organisations/institutions they have feelings, biases and emotions as well. You may take an advantage from this but do not hurt their feelings and avoid anything that may affect the quality your relation. Be flexible in approaching various points in discussion but keep it clear and avoid spontaneous counter-proposals.

Closing session try to assess the proposals that have been made and how much opposition is still there. The main purpose of the closing meeting is to get the agreement. You maybe forced to give up some conditions, to make some pressure to keep the others. You also could offer alternative that may satisfy both parties and help closing the deal. Making a summary of all arguments and potential alternatives is sometime needed to focus towards the agreement.

A structured approach of the soft style versus hard one and some basic principles to be considered for reaching a good deal and a good relation in the same time, are presented in the table below.

Qualities of successful Managers

Research identifies eleven attributes which were found to be possessed by successful managers. These qualities, abilities and attributes provide the basis for self development.

Command of the basic facts

Relevant professional knowledge

Continuing sensitivity to events

Analytical, problem solving, decision making, judgmental skills

Social skills and abilities

Emotional resilience

Proactivity - Inclination to respond purposefully to events

Creativity

Mental agility

Balanced learning habits and skills

Self knowledge